I see plenty of adults who are punishing themselves because they aren’t someone else. Most of them started as children who felt punished because they weren’t someone else. This someone else they never were is not even a real person, it’s an ideal. This ideal was communicated to them by their parents and it is an anachronism, a relic, based on expectations, dreams, and hopes that the parent had for their child. Parental expectations and visions of the ideal child are formed before the baby is even born. Every parent develops these hopes and dreams to some extent. Mostly these are based on societal images of success, because for some reason we equate what others view as success as the key to eternal bliss and contentment for our children. So really what parents want is for their children to be happy and content. Continue
My Articles about success
With the arrival of the New Year comes an urge to make a new start with our lives. The age-old tradition of the New Year’s Resolution is a sign of the human drive for growth and improvement. Some criticize the practice of making resolutions, saying they just set people up for failure. Research shows, however, that people who make New Year’s resolutions are much more like to create positive change in their lives than those who don’t make resolutions! So I say go for it! Continue
Whenever I get together with other parents, conversation inevitably comes around to what activities their kids are into these days. Some parents rattle off half a dozen activities in which their child participates; piano lessons, scouts, soccer, baseball, Odyssey of the Mind, dance, gymnastics, and the list can go on and on. Add to this all the homework demanded by “No Child Left Behind” and you have a very busy child! Don’t misunderstand; supplementing our children’s development with structured activities can be very beneficial. However, too much structure can be harmful to a child. If you, as the parent, feel overwhelmed and stressed out by trying to accommodate your child’s schedule, just imagine how they must feel! Continue
