Communication: Can you Hear me Now?

Patrick Ward — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 21:33:39 +0000

There’s no doubt that communication is essential yet very complex. I work with a lot of couples in my private practice. During the initial visit, someone will predictably say that communication is their biggest problem. Can you guess which person says this the most? You guessed it, the woman. It has been observed that women want to talk about the relationship regularly to prevent any big problems, but men believe talking about the marriage all the time means there is a big problem! According to marriage experts Pat Love and Steven Stosny, this gender difference in desire to talk is due to women’s fear and anxiety about the relationship and men’s sensitivity to shame and failure. This shows how our own perspectives act as “filters” to any communication we receive. These filters we have often foul up the messages others are trying to send us. The result is misunderstanding, which can lead to a whole cartload of conflict. Continue

Traits of Healthy Families – Part 1

Patrick Ward — Thu, 03 May 2007 20:40:14 +0000

The summer season is entering its final stretch now. Families will be trying to squeeze a few more valuable vacations in before school starts. Sometimes August feels like “the calm before the storm” because the new school year often hits like a strong wind that scatters the children and blows apart the parents’ schedules. I want to encourage you to take what time is left this summer to shore up your family relationships and overall functioning. Now is the best time to change and improve things in your family, before the frenetic pace of school begins. Rather than worry about what’s going wrong in your family, its better to focus on what you want to go right. The best way to do this is to understand what healthy families do, and emulate these traits in your own family. As Thoreau said, “…you only hit what you aim at, so aim high.” Continue

Patrick Ward, PhD » listening

Communication: Can you Hear me Now?

Traits of Healthy Families – Part 1