There is a special field of research in psychology called “positive psychology” that studies the “science of gratitude.” Positive psychology has been around for a while, but recently it has gained credibility under the scrutiny of science. Scientists have made important discoveries about thankfulness. Research has actually shown that practicing thankfulness decreases depression and anxiety! Its all explained in a book by Robert Emmons called “Thanks!: How the new science of gratitude can make you happier.” Continue
My Articles about happiness
Long ago, the founding fathers who wrote the Declaration of Independence established a government that gave us the right to “…life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” This is great. Most of us exercise our right to live life in freedom. Some of us, however, seem to be in the pursuit of misery rather than happiness. Have you ever noticed that being happy is easier for some people that it is for others? The ease with which some find happiness has little to do with privileges and income, and a lot to do with attitude and perspective. Continue
I see plenty of adults who are punishing themselves because they aren’t someone else. Most of them started as children who felt punished because they weren’t someone else. This someone else they never were is not even a real person, it’s an ideal. This ideal was communicated to them by their parents and it is an anachronism, a relic, based on expectations, dreams, and hopes that the parent had for their child. Parental expectations and visions of the ideal child are formed before the baby is even born. Every parent develops these hopes and dreams to some extent. Mostly these are based on societal images of success, because for some reason we equate what others view as success as the key to eternal bliss and contentment for our children. So really what parents want is for their children to be happy and content. Continue
With the arrival of the New Year comes an urge to make a new start with our lives. The age-old tradition of the New Year’s Resolution is a sign of the human drive for growth and improvement. Some criticize the practice of making resolutions, saying they just set people up for failure. Research shows, however, that people who make New Year’s resolutions are much more like to create positive change in their lives than those who don’t make resolutions! So I say go for it! Continue
Parenthood is great in many ways. Becoming a parent, however, is a growth process and it takes a lot of learning through trial and error. Bill Cosby says “Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.” Those of us who are parents can agree it’s much harder than we thought, but there is also the potential for great joy and happiness as a parent. When I found out that my wife was pregnant the first time, I had only the slightest idea how my life was about to change. Before I had kids of my own, I had some friends who were parents. When I told them we were expecting, these friends – with spit up on their shoulders and crying babies in the background – would grin and say how much they were looking forward to us having a child to take care of. Looking back, I think the grin was more sadistic than celebratory. It’s like they couldn’t wait to see us suffer and stagger through the transition to parenthood. Continue
