Patrick Ward, PhD » expectations

The Gift of Acceptance

Patrick Ward — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 16:59:07 +0000

I see plenty of adults who are punishing themselves because they aren’t someone else. Most of them started as children who felt punished because they weren’t someone else. This someone else they never were is not even a real person, it’s an ideal. This ideal was communicated to them by their parents and it is an anachronism, a relic, based on expectations, dreams, and hopes that the parent had for their child. Parental expectations and visions of the ideal child are formed before the baby is even born. Every parent develops these hopes and dreams to some extent. Mostly these are based on societal images of success, because for some reason we equate what others view as success as the key to eternal bliss and contentment for our children. So really what parents want is for their children to be happy and content. Continue

Successful Summer Traveling – The Road Trip

Patrick Ward — Sat, 02 Jun 2007 17:09:51 +0000

A road trip with school-age children requires planning and flexibility. It requires realistic expectations. It also requires good self-care for the parents, or you’ll feel like you need your own vacation after the family vacation. To illustrate these points, let me tell you a story about my good friend Chadd. Continue

Is Family Time Supposed to be Fun?

Patrick Ward — Wed, 04 Oct 2006 21:12:34 +0000

The topic for this month’s issue of Parent Magazine, family entertainment, got me thinking about the good times I’ve had with my family. I also remember some times that were, well, a little more challenging! Successfully creating entertaining activities for the whole family can be quite an undertaking. If you are reading this, and you have participated in family activities, you can probably recall some great times and a few really, really bad experiences. Have you ever tried to get the whole family to watch a movie together and end up watching it by yourself? How about those times you pay to take the family somewhere, and the kids argue the whole time and you have a headache by the end of the day? I guess what I’m trying to convey is that family entertainment is a great idea, but easier said than done! Let me relate to you some personal experience with good and bad family entertainment. These will be used to illustrate an important point later in the column. Continue