Patrick Ward, PhD » children

Managing the Media in Your Home

Patrick Ward — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 21:06:26 +0000

What would your life be like if television, the internet, and computers suddenly didn’t work any more? The amount of uneasiness you have in reaction to that question is a good indicator of how influential electronic media is in your life. Most of us remember the days when there was no Internet and the television offered about 12 channels. What is more, we had to get up and change the television channels manually! Now there are so many media and entertainment options so easily available, it feels overwhelming. In fact, it seems as if the American family home is inundated by media overexposure. Continue

The Gift of Acceptance

Patrick Ward — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 16:59:07 +0000

I see plenty of adults who are punishing themselves because they aren’t someone else. Most of them started as children who felt punished because they weren’t someone else. This someone else they never were is not even a real person, it’s an ideal. This ideal was communicated to them by their parents and it is an anachronism, a relic, based on expectations, dreams, and hopes that the parent had for their child. Parental expectations and visions of the ideal child are formed before the baby is even born. Every parent develops these hopes and dreams to some extent. Mostly these are based on societal images of success, because for some reason we equate what others view as success as the key to eternal bliss and contentment for our children. So really what parents want is for their children to be happy and content. Continue

Instilling Positive Values in Your Children

Patrick Ward — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 21:22:11 +0000

Every parent has a picture in their mind of how they want their child to turn out. Most parents want their child to be honest, responsible, polite, loving, hard working, and happy. Other values and virtues that parents try to establish in their children may include a love of sports, an appreciation for art or music, a love of the outdoors, faith in God, and community service. The list can go on and on. These various values fit into three broad categories; 1) Attitudes towards others, such as being polite, 2) Character traits, such as honesty, and 3) Lifestyle choices, such as a love of the outdoors. We often hope our children can attain these lofty values better than we do. There are several ways parents can instill these values, and “do as I say, not as I do” isn’t one of them. Continue

Mother’s Day

Patrick Ward — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 17:00:46 +0000

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there! Nobody loves us like our mothers, right? The quote “A face only a mother could love” is a testament to the staying power of motherly love. A mother’s love and nurturing are often taken for granted. Remembering the significance of mothers in our society is a big reason that mother’s day was first established by Anna Marie Jarvis. She was a West Virginian by the way. Continue

Successful Summer Traveling – The Road Trip

Patrick Ward — Sat, 02 Jun 2007 17:09:51 +0000

A road trip with school-age children requires planning and flexibility. It requires realistic expectations. It also requires good self-care for the parents, or you’ll feel like you need your own vacation after the family vacation. To illustrate these points, let me tell you a story about my good friend Chadd. Continue

Traits of Healthy Families – Part 1

Patrick Ward — Thu, 03 May 2007 20:40:14 +0000

The summer season is entering its final stretch now. Families will be trying to squeeze a few more valuable vacations in before school starts. Sometimes August feels like “the calm before the storm” because the new school year often hits like a strong wind that scatters the children and blows apart the parents’ schedules. I want to encourage you to take what time is left this summer to shore up your family relationships and overall functioning. Now is the best time to change and improve things in your family, before the frenetic pace of school begins. Rather than worry about what’s going wrong in your family, its better to focus on what you want to go right. The best way to do this is to understand what healthy families do, and emulate these traits in your own family. As Thoreau said, “…you only hit what you aim at, so aim high.” Continue

Unstructured Play is Really OK

Patrick Ward — Thu, 03 May 2007 17:17:00 +0000

Whenever I get together with other parents, conversation inevitably comes around to what activities their kids are into these days. Some parents rattle off half a dozen activities in which their child participates; piano lessons, scouts, soccer, baseball, Odyssey of the Mind, dance, gymnastics, and the list can go on and on. Add to this all the homework demanded by “No Child Left Behind” and you have a very busy child! Don’t misunderstand; supplementing our children’s development with structured activities can be very beneficial. However, too much structure can be harmful to a child. If you, as the parent, feel overwhelmed and stressed out by trying to accommodate your child’s schedule, just imagine how they must feel! Continue

Protecting Children from Sexual Abuse

Patrick Ward — Thu, 11 Jan 2007 21:01:48 +0000

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Use Consequences to Improve Your Child’s Behavior

Patrick Ward — Mon, 04 Dec 2006 21:04:56 +0000

Well-disciplined children become well-disciplined and responsible adults. A great method for instilling responsibility and discipline in your children is to use natural and logical consequences. Natural consequences are results of actions that happen as expected. For example, when you eat too much you feel sick and have an upset stomach, when you stay up too late you are sleepy the next day, etc. We learn a great deal from simply understanding that actions have certain predictable consequences. Children learn valuable lessons from experiencing the consequences of their choices. For instance, my 5 year old son is learning that when he leaves his toys outside they can get ruined or stolen. He’s learning to take care of his things. If I always pick up after him he won’t learn how to be responsible with his things. Continue