Parenthood is great in many ways. Becoming a parent, however, is a growth process and it takes a lot of learning through trial and error. Bill Cosby says “Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.” Those of us who are parents can agree it’s much harder than we thought, but there is also the potential for great joy and happiness as a parent. When I found out that my wife was pregnant the first time, I had only the slightest idea how my life was about to change. Before I had kids of my own, I had some friends who were parents. When I told them we were expecting, these friends – with spit up on their shoulders and crying babies in the background – would grin and say how much they were looking forward to us having a child to take care of. Looking back, I think the grin was more sadistic than celebratory. It’s like they couldn’t wait to see us suffer and stagger through the transition to parenthood. Continue
My Articles about challenges
Last month I covered some of the challenges that are unique to raising boys. This time, we’ll look at issues and difficulties that occur in the raising of girls. From birth, differences can be observed in males and females. I dismissed these differences as rigidly socialized stereotypes until we had a girl and a boy. For instance, we limited violent media but even as a toddler our son turned twigs and pretzel sticks into guns and swords. From the time our daughter could grasp, she would reach for dolls. I’ve heard that studies of babies show marked differences between girls and boys. When surrounded with human faces, girl babies will look longer and more intently at the faces. Boy babies are more likely to scan the faces and then get distracted by the ceiling fan and watch it for a while instead. Continue
How would you describe boys, in general? I asked several people and they described boys as hyperactive, “heathens”, accident prone, ill-behaved, and boisterous. The typical boy craves adventure and action, longs to feel powerful, and these cravings and urges often get them in trouble. Growing up isn’t easy for boys (or girls). While all children face many of the same challenges to successful development, there are several problems that are gender-specific. This month’s column will highlight some issues for boys in particular, and give some helpful advice to parents of boys. In my counseling practice, I often recommend two books to parents of boys; “Raising Cain” by Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson, and “Bringing up Boys” by James Dobson. Much of the information I discuss today comes from these books. Continue
