Teens have a developmental stage all their own. Its called “Identity vs. Role Confusion.” The main challenge at this stage of life is developing their sense of self, and therefore they are asking the question “who am I?” At the same time, the parents will find themselves asking “who is this kid?” As a teen, or the parent of a teen, if you find yourself asking these questions – its NORMAL. In this normal stage, teens will try on behaviors and attitudes like they try on pants and shirts. Some of the behaviors and attitudes can be quite alarming, and even risky. Continue
Transitions / Change
We live lives mostly in a routine. We get up relatively close to the same time every day, eat meals at the same time every day, follow our weekly schedules year after year. There is comfort and security to be found in routine. There is also a danger lurking there in our routine – the danger of going on autopilot. Its the danger of becoming closed off from others, even from ourselves and ultimately from God. Our routines are pathways externally as well as internally – pathways of thought and emotion as well as behavior.
The usual reaction when our routine is disrupted is frustration, dismay, and resentment. The disruption is seen as inherently “bad” and label the cause of the disruption as such; whether it be a person or a situation. A fact of the matter, however, is that only when our routine is disrupted can we have new experiences. These new experiences have the potential to provide growth opportunities. People experience God in these sideline moments of their lives more often than at any other time. So my challenge to you is to set aside your frustration at the disruption and choose to remain open to life when things aren’t going your way. Its my challenge to myself. “Life is what happens while you are making plans.”
A mother told me an amazing God story today. She has a 7 year-old Down Syndrome son who functions at the level of a 1 yr-old. She was in a hospital waiting room with him when an older gentleman remarked to her “I don’t know why God allows kids like him to be born.” Nobody has ever said this to her before, though she knows many wonder the same thing. She said what happened next was something he…r son never does – her son crawled out of her lap, toddled over to the man and raised his arms to be picked up. The man picked him up. The boy laughed, looked in the man’s eyes, laid his head on the man’s shoulder, and continued to giggle. When her son’s name was called, she went over and picked him up off the man’s lap and replied to him “God allows kids like this to be born so we can experience His love.” The mother doesn’t know how this impacted the old man, but the story has impact.
Family | Mental Health | Stress | Transitions / Change | holidays
Putting Some “Thanks” in Your Thanksgiving
There is a special field of research in psychology called “positive psychology” that studies the “science of gratitude.” Positive psychology has been around for a while, but recently it has gained credibility under the scrutiny of science. Scientists have made important discoveries about thankfulness. Research has actually shown that practicing thankfulness decreases depression and anxiety! Its all explained in a book by Robert Emmons called “Thanks!: How the new science of gratitude can make you happier.” Continue
