Over the last forty years the percentage of adults who are married has dramatically decreased. This is due in part to steady increases in divorces, but also due to people choosing to live together without getting married. Nevertheless, in 2007 the Washington Post issued a report that the fertility rate was the highest it’s been in 35 years! What this means is that more and more children are being born to parents who aren’t married. Relationship stability is lower on average for cohabiting couples than for married couples. A report on the website “smartmarriages.com” explains that 75% of children of cohabiting couples will experience their parents splitting up before the child turns 16. This rate goes down to about 33% for children of married parents*. So what this really means is that more and more children are living in situations where custody of the child is shared between two or more households. Continue
Transitions / Change
Think about the following questions, and take some time to come up with your answers. What’s most meaningful to you about the holidays? What would your Thanksgiving and Christmas be like if they were truly wonderful? What makes it all worth it? Many say that what makes it wonderful is time to enjoy relationships with family and friends, a time to refocus on what’s really important, celebrating Jesus’ birth, doing good for others, and so on. Continue
Stress often comes in the form of change to our lives. Therefore, it is very important that we learn how to “get a handle” on change so that we can roll with it rather than be rolled over by it. Stress can literally run you over! Did you know that researchers are finding out that emotional stress is associated with increases in heart disease as well as other stress-related illnesses such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and fibromyalgia? Continue
Parenthood is great in many ways. Becoming a parent, however, is a growth process and it takes a lot of learning through trial and error. Bill Cosby says “Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.” Those of us who are parents can agree it’s much harder than we thought, but there is also the potential for great joy and happiness as a parent. When I found out that my wife was pregnant the first time, I had only the slightest idea how my life was about to change. Before I had kids of my own, I had some friends who were parents. When I told them we were expecting, these friends – with spit up on their shoulders and crying babies in the background – would grin and say how much they were looking forward to us having a child to take care of. Looking back, I think the grin was more sadistic than celebratory. It’s like they couldn’t wait to see us suffer and stagger through the transition to parenthood. Continue
