There is a lot of information out there about why marriages fail. A quick search of the internet turns up articles on how communication is the key to marital success. I don’t buy it, and neither should you. Communication is important, but what many don’t realize is that we are always communicating. In fact, you cannot NOT communicate. Everything you do communicates something. Whether you communicated what you intended is another story. Tony Robbins explains it best when he says “communication is defined by the response you get.” Continue
Marriage
Mike and Lori (fictional names) are headed towards divorce. Lori came home from work and found the electricity was out. She decided she’d had enough after she learned that the electric bill wasn’t paid. In fact, it was one of many bills that haven’t been paid for the last three months. When she confronted Mike about this, he lashed out that he couldn’t pay the bills because she’s been spending all her paycheck rather than putting her half into the account for paying bills. Knowing that Mike’s salary alone could cover the monthly bills, she didn’t give up solving the mystery. Lori found out that Mike bought an expensive motorcycle and has been keeping it in rented storage. Because of these secret expenses, there’s been “too much month at the end of the money” for Mike and Lori. Lori is a forgiving person, but this is the third time Mike has put them through this mess with his secret spending. They’ve already declared bankruptcy three years earlier. Continue
“Never leave your partner behind” is the tagline for the newly released movie “Fireproof.” This movie depicts a young married couple experiencing total marital meltdown. While the couple (Catherine and Caleb Holt) are fictional the problems they face are all too common. Furthermore, the way they fight over these problems and how quickly they consider divorce is all too common as well. How their marriage is rescued is the main story in the movie. Continue
Picture a husband and wife in their late thirties, let’s call them Bill and Marie. Bill and Marie both work and have two school-aged kids. Bill’s workday is usually finished first, so he picks up the kids on his way home. When he gets home, Bill often chills out on the couch reading the mail while his kids watch cartoons until supper. When Marie gets home she hurriedly starts preparing dinner and puts another load of laundry in the wash while looking through the kids papers from school. She’ll often plop a load of clean laundry in front of Bill so he can fold it, which he’ll do if the cartoons don’t grab his attention. Continue
In the “crazy-in-love” days of dating through the honeymoon period, most people don’t give much thought to the impact that their spouse’s parents can have on the marriage. The truth is though, with all other things being equal, in-laws can make or break a marriage. More specifically, the husband or wife’s relationship with their in-laws and whether or not the in-laws support the marriage are very important factors in marital satisfaction and stability. These truths have been supported in research by sociologists and marital experts. So in-laws have much more to offer than comedic relief in “Everybody Loves Raymond” or being the butt of good jokes, like this one: Continue
